THE SUMMIT

To: PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) From: Andy Griffith    Dear PETA:    Help me. I'm torn between matters of faith. I own a butcher shop, the one down on Elm Street. I am an active member of PETA, yet my profession is to mercilessly slaughter and package animals. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night due to a vehement nightmare of beef jumping from my plate and having its due revenge on my soul. My conscience is getting the better of me. Not even the great waters of Neptune can wash this blood from my hands. Yet I cannot quit, lest I leave my family destitute. What do I do?    Yours Most Sincerely,    A concerned citizen skilled in the art of butchery. To: Master Butcher From: PETA    Dear Master Butcher:    It pains me to inform you that, though your family prospers in that line of work, if you continue on like this, you will surely be punished greatly upon your pathetic death. Your fam...

I’m quite sure you know the movie Jurassic Park. It’s famous, not only for its story, but also for its innovative use of CGI and puppeteering. However, fewer people have read the book that it is based on, since reading is for nerds. (But since you’re reading this, you’re a nerd, and so have nothing to fear getting caught with a book in your hand. What is a nerd, any way? It seems that people with a semblance of intelligence are geeks, while people who hammer nails in with their head are deemed ‘cool’. Give me a break.) Anyway, tangents aside, this is the review of the book Jurassic Park, written by the late (and by that I mean dead) Michael Crichton. While the movie starts out with a raptor attacking a man, the book starts out right after the fact. A helicopter flies in the injured man to a doctor, and tell her that the man was injured by some machinery, even though there are very clearly raptor scars on his chest. They think she’s Little Red Riding Hood, or something. She doesn’t...

“Mr. Morris! So good to see you today. How are you feeling?”             “Well, obviously, I haven’t been too good, or else I wouldn’t be seeing a psychiatrist.” Mr. Henry Morris sat himself wearily on the futon, as the psychiatrist, Dr. Marrow, wrote something insidious on a file sandwiched in a manila folder. Dr. Marrow then raised his thick glasses to the bridge of his large nose, and gave Morris a hard stare. Most psychiatrists were all soft and likeable, but Dr. Marrow was known for scaring his patients. However, Mr. Morris hardly seemed afraid – in fact, he looked agitated, and seemed to want to leave in a hurry. And indeed, that was exactly correct, as substantiated by Mr. Morris. “I’m in a hurry,” he said, “So I kinda want your professional opinion quick.” “Oh, you’re in a rush. Is that so?” “Yeah.” “Then you can get up and go right now. Otherwise, I will not be rushed.” “But I need to be free at five o’clock! I have a date!” “Then why the ...

In a bustling courtroom, a crowd gathers and murmurs incoherently as the portly Judge Porcost takes his granted place at the throne. The jury skillfully sits in the corner, whilst a journalist - me - types up every scuffle that occurs in this courtroom. This journalist happens to be very handsome, indeed; much more handsome than you can hope to ever be. Porcost: (raps his gavel candidly) All those talking, I politely invite you to shut up! Thank you. Ahem. The defendant, Reilly, will now present himself, along with his assumed lawyer.   Reilly: (approaches half-heartedly, along with his idiot lawyer, Haven) Heya, Porcost.   Porcost: Quiet, you! (To Haven) How does your client plead?   Haven: Innocent, my Inconvenience, but I believe him to be guilty.   Reilly: What? You - you - you imbecile!   Haven: Hey, I'm allowed to voice my opinion, amn't i?   Porcost: (raps his gavel) Silence! I wish to hear silence!   Reilly: Well, techn...

As the sign up ahead very clearly states: welcome to The Summit. Here at the Summit, you will have a variety of content to read, with at least one new post every week. I will post short stories and opinion articles, and as I go on, much more. Subscribe, if you will, for good reading content every week, and I hope to see you on the Summit. (Yes, I can see through your computer screen). If you want to write for the Summit, contact me at okanselm@gmail.com.