Short Story: The New Captain

by Peter O'Keefe

The ship was stuck. There was no doubt about that. The Vikings onboard sighed, upset not only that they would probably die, but also that they had let this happen. Not everybody made as big a mistake as letting the chief Viking vessel, the Raptor, get its mast torn down in a storm. The captain of the ship, a general of much fame called Ivan, sighed deeply and said, "Well me lads. This is the end of the line. The Raptor's as stuck as she can be. Let loose the anchors! We'll stay here."
Endless water stretched out in every direction, giving the Viking crew a hopeless feeling.
Food might last them about a week, but that didn't make them feel better.
"Hey, Norman!" Ivan hollered. "Prepare the crew some supper! Be good with the rationing too, me lad! Make it last as long as ya can!"
Norman was one of the youngest onboard, a man of twenty with red hair and a jolly nature. This was his first trip on the Raptor, and everyone had loved him for his good nature and quality jokes. Not that anyone would be in the mood for one now. He nodded and travelled belowdecks to where the food was kept. The only one in the kitchen was the cabin boy, Ranka.
"Heya, champ!" said Norman. "Watcha doing?"
"Washing the deck," replied Ranka. "Is the mast going to be fixed? Can it be?"
"'Fraid not," said Norman. "Beyond repair. If only we had a lifeboat! Then someone could go get help."
"We won't die by starvation," said Ranka. "The pirate ships of Xenophilis patrol these waters. And Captain Ivan makes for good ransom money."
"Yeah, I 'spose so," agreed Norman. "If that happens, we could take 'em! There's a lot of us, and us Vikings come big. It'd be good if they came. Then we could use their ships to return home."
"And abandon the Raptor?" asked the cabin boy.
"Hey, I'd prefer my life over this old piece'a junk!"
"We couldn't defeat them if it was the pirates of the Rusty Bargainer that attacked us. They're  the fiercest pirates in these waters."
"I ain't afraid'a any pirate!"scoffed Norman.
"Oh aren't you?" came a voice. It was the 2nd in Command, an unpleasant young man named Glorius Arnus. "I have known many Vikings to say that only to fall by a pirate's hand." "We could beat 'em," assured Norman. Glorius Arnus just scowled, and turned to leave. He stopped at last second and called, "Ranka, that floor looks atrocious! Redo it!"
"Someday I'm gonna teach that guy a lesson," muttered Ranka darkly. They heard angry voices up decks. The fighting had already started. And it would be like that as long as the Raptor was broken and lost out at sea.
That night, Ivan wanted a bigger security team to guard in case of pirates. They doubled the watch. But since the usual watch was just one guy, that wasn't saying much. The two youngest onboard, Norman and Ranka, were chosen for the first watch.
"Just us again," said Norman. It was a foggy night, the moon barely penetrating the clouds. The Raptor, held in place by four giant anchors, gently bobbed in the cold winter waters. Ranka pulled his coat up tighter. He was looking ahead at the empty horizon. Norman smiled and said,
"All this extra security was for nothing! Nobody is around for miles!" A light flashed on their backs.
"Except behind us," said Ranka fearfully. The two young Vikings turned around.
Approaching them was a bulky vessel made of black wood, twice the size of the Raptor and five times the quality. It had dark red sails and maroon banners floating everywhere. Dozens of men stood on deck, and by the looks of them they were pirates. It was the Rusty Bargainer.
Norman drew his sword. It was long and curved, but hardly the kind to fight the Pirates'
ones.
"Oh dang it! They have better weapons!" he complained. He turned to Ranka. To his shock, his young friend had a bulky, excellent quality double bladed axe in hand.
"Where did'ja get that?!" asked Norman.
"Like it?" asked Ranka. "This is Stormslayer. An old family heirloom, kinda. Let's go rouse Ivan and the others!"
Norman muttered something unpleasant as they ran over to the captain's cabin. Beside it was a horn, an ancient war horn, one that was famous for being in a battle in the dawn of time. Nobody blew it except in emergency, unless you were that idiot last Spring. The locks that held it were too complicated, so Ranka gave a few swipes of his axe and all was well. Norman took it and blew it as loud as he could. He accidentally did it in Ranka's ear, but it was effective, especially to his outraged young buddy.
The first to come out was Ivan, with a cruel-looking axe in one hand and a teddy bear in the other.
"What's wrong, Norman?!" he bellowed. "I need my sleep!"
"The Rusty Bargainer is attacking!" bellowed Norman back. Ivan saw the ship.
"Why didn't ja say so?!" he bellowed.
"I did!" bellowed Norman back. The rest of the crew came aboard, Glorius Arnus in the lead.
"What is it, cap'n?" he demanded. Then he saw the evil pirate ship.
"It's an evil pirate ship!" explained Ranka.
"I knew that, stupid!" said Glorius Arnus. They all crowded the sides,weapons drawn. The other ship was very close now, and soon they were close enough to see the ship's feared captain.
Zarvod, captain of the Rusty Bargainer, was seven feet tall, with a black mane of bristly hair around a tanned, rough face. Big bug eyes that belonged to a lunatic stared from his face, and his long nose was twitching constantly.
"Get on the ship!" he said in a loud, commanding, squeaky voice. Ten men of big stature and bigger weight swung across and onto the ships with ropes, more following. Norman swung his blade at them, but it broke as soon as it came in contact with a pirate's mace.
"Oh, I'm dead!" said Norman. He took a step back. He noticed Zarvod on the other ship's deck, staring at him intensely, picking his nose. Then a figure appeared behind Zarvod and rapped his skull with a brick. The pirate captain became stiff, and fell to his icy doom in the waters below. The man behind him was a Viking.
He had yellow hair and beard, and wore orange and black clothing. It was obvious he was a captive. One of the crewmen shouted, and five pirates ran to attack the prisoner. He tripped one with a kick to the ankle, and grabbing his flail, knocked the others like rag dolls. He was battling another when Norman saw a pirate sneaking up on him, an axe of absurd size in-hand. Norman picked up the only thing he had, and hurled it at the prisoner's attacker; the thing he picked up happened to be the famous, ancient, priceless war horn. It bonked the pirate on the head, giving him a bump and knocking off his toupee, but nothing else. But at least the Viking prisoner saw him now. He wrapped the flail around one of his attackers and swung him right into the other. Then he grabbed hold of a rope that was only there because this is an adventure story, and swung right towards the Raptor. Norman briefly noted that he was headed straight towards him. "Look out, sonny!"the former captive called. Too late. He crashed right into Norman, knocking them both to the ground.
"Who are you?"the indignant young Viking demanded. Climbing to his feet wearily, the prisoner said, "I am called Banka. And yeah, I'm not best friends with pirates either. Oh! You're a
Viking too? Cool! I'll stay with you then."
"Oh. Okay, yeah sure. I'm Norman."
Then he saw an odd sight. Two pirates were leaving, with a huge, struggling sack.
"Who's in there?"asked Ranka, coming up behind them. A teddy bear fell from the bag.
"Oh no! It's Ivan!"said Norman. It was too late. All the pirates were back on the Rusty Bargainer, leaving the Raptor once and for all.
"He was the best general!"wailed Glorius Arnus. "What can we do without him? Who will lead us?"
"You're 2nd in command," someone offered helpfully.
"Yeah, but I don't wanna be captain! Not if we're all gonna die! The captain always dies first!"
"Well, at least Zarvod is dead!"said Norman hopefully. But Banka shook his head and said, "No, that wasn't Zarvod. The real captain is always below decks. You see, he's grown rather chubby lately and he's self conscious about it. So he has that idiot impersonate him. That was actually the fifth one, too!"
"So," said Ranka loudly,"who wants to be captain?" Nobody did. He sighed. "As I thought."
"Hey, looky over yonder!"said Norman. The Rusty Bargainer had parked itself just out of their arrows' reach, to kinda rub it in. Right now they appeared to be having a party.
"Wait, I've an idea!"said Norman."It's so cool! Oh, and I'll be captain, so you gotta listen."
"Hey, where's the ancient, priceless war horn?"asked Glorius Arnus ingloriously.
"Who cares? Let's hear the plan!"said Ranka.
"Okay, listen and I'll 'splain it all to ya,"said the new captain. "Okay, ya know how they're like right next to us? Today we'll make a raft, and tonight, sail it to the pirate ship. Then we-"
"Oh, but sir!"said Glorius Arnus , "what'll we make the raft outta?"
"Bits of the Raptor."
The Viking crew began to murmur. Nobody liked breaking the old ship. It was kinda sacred to them. Then the captain's idea got even better.
"Then we take the Rusty Bargainer and go home, leaving the Raptor here."
"Treason!"yelled one Viking.
"Idiot!"yelled another. "I'm hungry!"yelled one more.
"Yessum, I know,"said Norman. "But we need to survive and save Ivan. This old ship is a piece of junk, anyhow!"
Finally, after much persuasion and liquor, Norman got them all to agree to his plan. The first thing they destroyed was the captain's cabin, being torn to shreds by Ranka and a few others with absurdly large axes. The pieced the wood together, using rope, nails and bobby pins. Finally, they had made enough rafts to fit the whole crew, plus all the food and water they could carry. One Viking fellow unwisely said that they had enough water since they were out at sea. Banka wisely put the mentally challenged fellow to sleep.
Night came quickly. Norman led his Viking buddies onto the rafts, which stayed afloat, thankfully. They rowed over to the Rusty Bargainer, leaving the Raptor for good. The party was still going on, (it was one of the crews' birthdays) so they had no trouble climbing aboard, hijacking the steering wheel and singing a carol. Nobody had noticed them yet.
"C'mon,"said Norman. "I'll go spy on them with Ranka and Banka- hey your names rhyme!
Cool! Oh, and watch the crew, will ya, G.A? You don't mind if I call you G.A, do ya sonny?"
"G.A?"asked Glorius Arnus. "But-"
"Later, dude!"said the new captain. They dashed outside, and hid behind a stack of barrels.
Below them was the party. They watched the events unfold.
A portly guy who was definitely Zarvod was doing the limbo. Pirates were crowded in one corner. Ivan was tied to a wooden chair, and being thrown from man to man like a volleyball. The guy who's b-day it was, a shy fella called Spencer, was playing pin the tail on the donkey. "They look drunk,"noted Ranka.
"They look stupid,"noted Banka. Norman agreed to both, and said, "Let's attack now!"
He spotted the ancient, priceless war horn right next to his foot. He grinned, and blew it.
Then Old G.A came out charging, with the rest of the Viking folks behind him. Norman sliced at Ivan's chair, spilling the captain onto the deck. In less than five minutes, all the pirates were tied up, including Zarvod the Fatso. Norman ran over to the side of the ship, and placed a pre-made plaque on it. The sign read: The New Raptor.
"That sounds kinda dumb,"said Banka, "but that's okay."
"You did it, Norman!"cried Ivan, strolling over to him cheerily. "I'm happy you did it, even if the Raptor is destroyed, as is poor Teddy."
They saw the Raptor sink.
"I was kinda thinkin' of retiring,"said the old captain. "I believe I'll recommend you to be the new captain of this here vessel!"
Ranka came over. He eyed the older Viking and said, "Whoa! Ivan, you look Terrible! Come on inside. Let's eat something."
Norman stood alone on the deck of the new Raptor. He smiled. One journey had earned him a very bright future.

                The End